Hola. Mi nombre es Alessandro. I will tell you a little bit about myself - I am a big Italian dwarf and is my favorite pasttime is the eating of potatoes. Especially American potatoes!!! They are yummy. I love hanging out with my best American friend, Carolina, because she is very fun and she always likes to help us with our problems. We have this other friend, Lea Tito, but she has a boyfriend so it makes me very, sad. I love to eat lots of waffles and pancakes, probably 60 every day. I also met a beautiful girl named Nicoletta... she was the most charming and lovely girl I have ever met. She will not drink a drop of alcohol, and she is always on her best behavior. A perfect lady, indeed!! I will miss these dwarves so much when I am back in Italy. They are the best dwarves a boy could ever ask for.

FART MACHINE